Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Goblin Mini-Guide

I'm no Mons Johnson, but I'm going to say it: I really like goblins. I like the goofy, self-destructive, idiot savant medieval-steampunk-mad-scientists who are there for comic relief. I like the noble, misunderstood humanoid race facing ostracization because they've been labelled "evil." Hell, I even like the sexy little green women that seem to have been popularized by World of Warcraft. So imagine my disappointment, then, when they turned out to be such a bust in Dungeons & Dragons.

The thing is, goblins weren't really meant for player use, and it shows. While they have a +0 level adjustment, which is probably to be expected, their statblock also notes that "goblins with levels in NPC classes have a CR equal to their character level -2" (as opposed to the usual NPC's -1.) So really they're intended to be evil but weak little foes with some character levels that might be familiar. A level 3 goblin warrior or adept will have a CR of 1, but don't expect to play a level 3 goblin adept and have it count as a level 1 character.

I'm going to go off on a brief tangent here and lament the fact that goblins perhaps had the problem of not quite being bad enough. I mean, they come up a little short as far as player character races go, but it's not by a lot. Consider the kobold, however: another weak, evil 'NPC race,' the kobold is probably inferior to even the goblin, with its stat modifiers providing an overall net loss of -4. They were seen as so weak that Wizards stepped in and provided plenty of support material for them, from an entire chapter in Races of the Dragon that provided all sorts of kobold-specific feats and alternate class features, to a tailor-made web enhancement article that just threw in four more racial traits for free, not to mention a feat that increases your goddamn caster level. Most discussion of kobolds nowadays centers around how overpowered they often are in practice, with the poorly-thought-out Dragonwrought feat and various spellcasting boosts made available to kobolds alone. This is, of course, in addition to the various subraces printed since then that allow for superior stat modifiers depending on your build. There are no doubt a number of players who are blissfully unaware of the fact that the kobold was ever seen as a weak point in need of shoring up. See what I mean? The kobold is so weak that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, whereas the long-suffering goblin is just decent enough that it can be completely ignored in a system that prints books at the drop of a hat.